Royally Kranked

Monday, November 28, 2005

I found this site some time back, and it still leaves me in stitches, and those of you in my age group will remember the whole McDonaldland concept

You can watch the actual commercials you read the text for, and they're so oddly funny that you'll definitely pass the link around

The one entry excerpted here was for a promotion called The Shamrock Shake

For the video in quiktime

My main reaction after watching this was that I'm really, really glad McDonald's dropped the watermelon shake promotion. To be any more stereotypical, this guy would have to conclude the ad by car-bombing Wendy's Dave Thomas.

INT. MCDONALD'S—DAY

A walking exaggeration of "quaint, provincial Irishness" enters the restaurant and approaches the counter to order.

CASHIER: How may I help you, sir?

IRISHMAN: Yes, Oy think Oy'd be likin' something as coooool as a green glade, refreshing as a . . . as a spring breeze.

CASHIER: Then you'd like McDonald's green Shamrock Shake, sir!

IRISHMAN: A green sheck! (Takes sip.) Woy, it's the grondest thing oy've tested since visitin' the old coontry!

CASHIER: Which country is that, sir?

The IRISHMAN smiles as a twinkle of what sounds like Leprechaun magic permeates the restaurant.

ANNOUNCER: For the wee bit of Irish in all of us, try a delicious green shamrock shake.

Of course he likes the shake--it's the first thing he's ever eaten that wasn't boiled for months. I wonder how many restaurants he went in to order "something as cool as a green glade, refreshing as a spring breeze" before he lucked upon a place that not only had one of those, but also the patience to listen to him. Dude, we have what's on the fucking menu, OK? I don't go into the supermarket, walk up to the cashier, and say, "I think I'd be liking the ingredients to a dinner that thrills the palate like a savory symphony, that fills the belly but leaves you hungry for more, and that isn't lasagna because I had that for lunch."

This is a page definitely worth checking out

2 Comments:

  • Ahh...McDonald's. Times have changed:


    Pimpled Gang-Banger at the Counter:
    "Yo. Whaz ya want?"

    Me:
    "Yes, I would like a Big Mac, small fries and a coke, please".

    Pimpled Gang-Banger at the Counter:
    "Say what?"

    Me:
    "I said I would like a Big Mac, small fries and a coke".

    Pimpled Gang-Banger at the Counter:
    "Oh,k. You's want anything else?"

    Me:
    "No, thanks".

    Pimpled Gang-Banger at the Counter:
    "Shit...oops. I hit the wrong thing.I gots to find my suprvier".

    Me:
    "Okay. Whatever."

    Off to the back he goes. The line behind me is getting longer. He finally comes back with a short, fat little man with a attitude.

    Short Fat Man with Attitude:
    "I told you already not to push that button. Don't fucking do it again! What's wrong with you? You have been here 3 days and still can't get it right!"

    He fixes the "button problem" and he looks up at me.

    Short Fat Man with Attitude:
    "I am sorry ma'am. Jose is a trainee.I apologize for the delay."

    ME:
    "No, I think it is you that needs to apologize to Jose for berating him in front of customers."

    He looks at me and walks off. No wonder this kids have no idea what they are doing. Poor Jose finally gets my order and with a sigh, apologizes for being so slow and inept.

    Me:
    "A little advice, kid. Go get your GED, try and go to college and get a good job. If you don't, you may become like that short little nasy fuck you are working for."


    Hey, Ronald. Get off your ass and take the time to train these kids by people who care and do it in a reasonable amount of time so they CAN do a good job. And, by the way... pay them a decent wage otherwise your "Happy Meal" will soon be called "Ronald's Unhappy Sacks of Shit" prepared by unhappy short fat fucks with a attitude.

    By Blogger Elvira Mistress of the Blog, at 5:02 PM  

  • I almost choked to death laughing! That is wrong on so many levels! Neat find, made my day!

    By Anonymous Steph, at 12:04 PM  

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