Royally Kranked

Friday, February 24, 2006

Addressing The Supremely Arrogant & Imbecilc Assery Of Bill O'Reilly, AKA Ted Baxter But Without The Wit & Wisdom

Please enjoy this image-linked montage of the Arrogant & Imbecilic Ass himself-who knew there were so many non-flattering images of our Man Of The Hour? Or Man Of The Post anyways?

Bill O'Reilly's been on even more of a buttheaded blast than usual

For instance, it's no doubt only in the spirit of the most selfless altruism possible that Bill O'Reilly wants MSNBC to bring back Phil Donahue, via a petition at his site

Dear Chairman Wright:

We, the undersigned, are becoming increasingly concerned about the well-being of MSNBC and, in particular, note the continuing ratings failure of the program currently airing weeknights on that network at 8:00 PM EST.

It is now apparent to everyone that a grave injustice has been done to the previous host for that time slot, Phil Donahue, whose ratings, at the time of his show's cancellation three years ago, were demonstrably stronger than those of the current host.

Therefore, in an effort to rescue MSNBC from the ratings basement and to restore the honor and dignity of Mr. Donahue, who was ignobly removed as host three years ago, we ask that you immediately bring Phil Donahue's show back at 8:00 PM EST before any more damage is done.

See, doesn't that sweetness just seep through every one of Bill O'Reilly's pores?

I mean, such concern from The Saintly Bill O'Reilly was truly touching considering the Bitchslapping Donahue gave him the last time they met

O'REILLY: In the past Miss [Cindy] Sheehan has criticized Israel, saying it is occupying Palestine, has called Iraqi insurgents "freedom fighters," has accused Americans of killing people ever since we stepped on this continent, has threatened Hillary Clinton with the loss her job unless she calls for a pullout of US troops from Iraq and has called the US action against Afghanistan a failure. Quite a resume and with us now is Phil Donahue, who supports Miss Sheehan's "dissent."
So, I'm assuming you don't - you don't support all her positions that I just chronicled.

DONAHUE: Let's understand what's happening here. Once again we have a woman who got to be just a little too famous for the people who support this war, a minority of the American population, by the way, and so the effort to marginalize this woman is underway and you're helping out.

O'REILLY: I'm the leader of the pack!

DONAHUE: You're suggesting ...

O'REILLY: I'm the leader of the pack!

DONAHUE: First of all, Cindy Sheehan is one tough mother and nothing you say or anyone else is gonna slow her down.

O'REILLY: That's fine. She has a right to ...

DONAHUE: You can't hurt her. She's already taken the biggest punch in the nose that a woman can take.


DONAHUE: She lost a son.


DONAHUE: She's lost a child.


O'REILLY (very angry, pointing): My nephew just enlisted in the Army. You don't know what the hell you're talkin' about!!!

DONAHUE: Very good. Very good. Congratulations! You should be proud ..

O'REILLY (starts to lose it, shouting, pointing finger, hand shaking): And he's a patriot, so don't denigrate his service or I'll boot you right off the set!!!

DONAHUE: I'm not ... I'm not ...

O'REILLY (very, very loud): That boy made a decision to serve his country!!! Do not denigrate him or you're outta here!!!

DONAHUE (calmly): I'm not Jeremy Glick, Billy.

O'REILLY: That's right!!

DONAHUE: You can't intimidate me!!

O'REILLY: You're a little bit more intelligent that he is!!

DONAHUE: I'm not somebody you can come and just spew all your ...

O'REILLY: Don't tell me I wouldn't send my kids.

DONAHUE: Loud doesn't mean right!

O'REILLY: My nephew just enlisted. You don't know what you're talkin' about!!

DONAHUE: Your nephew is not your kid. You are like ...

O'REILLY: He's my blood!

DONAHUE: You are part of a loud group of people who wanna prove they're tough ...

O'REILLY (shifts angrily in his chair, under his breath): Aw fer ...

DONAHUE: ... and send other people's kids to war to make the case.

O'REILLY (very loud): You have no clue ...

DONAHUE: This ..

O'REILLY: ... about how to fight a war on terror or how to defend your country. You are clueless! So is Miss Sheehan and for Miss Sheehan to say that the insurgents have a right to kill Americans and you're shakin' her hand! You oughta just walk away.

DONHUE (quieter): How many more young men and women are you gonna send to have their arms and legs blown off ...

O'REILY: Hey, this is a war on terror!

DONAHUE: ... so that you can be tough (points his finger at O'Reilly) and point at people in a kind of cowardly way..

O'REILLY (disgusted, under his breath): Oh, yeah.

DONHUE: Take people like Jeremy Glick who comes on to - in memory of his parents ...

O'REILLY: Oh bull.

DONAHUE: ... and you go off on him.

O'REILLY: Jeremy Glick accu ...

DONAHUE: ... like a big bully.


DOAHUE: Billy, you hafta be - you hafta feel sorry ...

O'REILLY: Mr. Donahue, with all due respect ...

DONAHUE: Have you apologized to him for that?

O'REILLY: Baloney!

DONAHUE: Do you know ...

O'REILLY: Jeremy Glick came on this program ...

DONAHUE: Do you know what I'm talking about?

O'REILLY: ... and accused the President of the United States ...

DONAHUE (sarcastically): Oh, and you had to ..

O'REILLY: ... of orchestrating 9/11. That's what he did. Right after 9/11!! Do you know what the pain that brought the families who lost people in 9/11?

Or was it maybe that Bill O'Reilly actually despises Donahue's replacement, Keith Olbermann, a guy who knows how to properly deal with pompous, willfully ignorant twits?

So, just what is it with Bill O'Reilly's fixation with all things ass-related?

Bill O'Reilly kisses his own ass, most notably when starting a 2004 interview with Dear Leader W-this is the VERY first statement-IN A PRESIDENTIAL INTERVIEW-from Bill O'Reilly -notable media martyr who rarely finds anyone willing to appear on his program-Also notice that even Dear Leader W doesn't have as thin a skin as Bill "Woe Is Me" O'Reilly

BILL O'REILLY, HOST: OK. First of all, I want to thank you for talking with me, since so few people will.


GEORGE W. BUSH, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES : Well, it's a big gamble on my part.

O'REILLY: No, it isn't, not really though. You, we talked four and a half years ago...

BUSH: I'm teasing.

Christ, when even President Jr's less than subtle wit is able to overwhelm Bill O'Reilly's pomposity, you know the meaning of "Blowhard" has been taken to a whole NEW level

Being an ass, in this case, Bill O'Reilly is calling for the firing of a fellow employee at the Fox News network, "Christmas Under Attack Fantasy Despoiler" Neil Gabler, a panelist on one of the very few shows on Fox that has any real guts & countering opinions to the usual Fox-News Mindset, "Fox News Watch"

Here "Fox News Watch" Host Eric Burns gets the Party Line

Hey Eric, you gotta come down on this Gabler guy, I mean he's just out of control and I'll tell you have Gabler picking up a far left blog (Bill shows no proof) conspiracy theory-spitting it out there and you guys sit there---like humpty dumpty.---I'd fire him in a heartbeat.

Nice to know the talent can dictate to Boss Ailes what needs to be done here-let's see if Ailes has spine a bit stiffer than overcooked pasta

Or even fantasizing about his own-Bill O'Reilly's -Ass-while talking dirty to former producer Andrea Mackris

The complaint then alleges that on August 2, 2004, "after interviewing two porn stars on 'The O'Reilly Factor,'" O'Reilly telephoned Mackris at her home. Apparently "excited," O'Reilly allegedly "launched into a vile and degrading monologue about sex." He told Mackris to buy a vibrator and name it, saying he "'had one shaped like a little cock with a battery in it' that a woman had given him. It became apparent that Defendant was masturbating as he spoke. After he climaxed, Defendant O'Reilly said to Plaintiff, 'I appreciate the fun phone call.'"

You know, Bill O'Reilly if that's what gets you off, then you'll be SO gratified & relieved to learn that there's definitely a profitable future should you decide to pursue this particular fetish for money


  • I got here via Pam's. this was such a great post and film. I used to watch Donohue in the 60's after high school. don't live in the US, so didn't know O'Reilly scumbag. Terrific to here Phil give it straight. Thanks.

    By Blogger sybil, at 1:52 PM  

  • I always like Phil. He tried showing all angles even if he disagreed but he was still good. Too bad they don't bring him back

    By Blogger AMYADOPTEE, at 10:46 PM  

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