T-Shirts Beat Paychecks Any Day

No doubt this idea will sweep the corporate world within the next 30 seconds

Honestly, you just can't make this stuff up

Clean for pride, not pay, Delta asks staff

Bankrupt Delta Air Lines has cut thousands of jobs, slashed salaries and considered abandoning its pilots' pension plan to stay in business.

Now, the nation's No. 3 airline is asking some 50,000 employees to volunteer to clean aircraft at night on their own time. Their reward: a free T-shirt, reward points good for merchandise and a chance to show their pride in the airline.

Wow, all that just for working without expecting a paycheck, no doubt Delta will have to beat the enthusiastic employees back with a stick to keep them from overwhelming the cleaning supplies closet

And it gets even BETTER for the paycheck-less workers as well

Employees will pull four- and eight-hour shifts to clean interior windows and walls, "scrape stuff from tray tables and floors . . . if there's gum on the floor," said spokesman Anthony Black. Cleaning lavatories is part of the drill, too.

With such generous benefits, no doubt the employees are thanking their lucky stars every day on their choice of enlightened employers

But wouldn't you know it, such a deal was far too good to be true, leaving the workers hanging their heads in glum defeat even more sorrowful than Delta declaring bankruptcy

More than 300 workers volunteered for the first "Clean Day" scheduled for Delta's Atlanta hub Wednesday evening, said Black. The event was canceled after a security alert snarled traffic at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport for much of the afternoon.

No doubt a security alert due to not enough janitor clearance passes for all the Delta workers wandering through the airport, eagerly awaiting their unpaid cleaning assignments

Another Clean Day event was set for Wednesday night at the airline's hub in Salt Lake City. Black didn't know how many employees throughout the airline have volunteered.

With such a great business plan, it would be shocking if Delta employees from across the country weren't streaming into Salt Lake City for volunteer duty

"The effort allows us to focus on a key element of customers' expectations when traveling: aircraft cleanliness," said a recorded message on Delta's employee news line. "Clean Days allow employees to work together to demonstrate pride in Delta and its operation."

Of course travelers expectations of airline cleanliness is more important than silly "company pride" indicators such as properly working equipment or structural fatigue

After pay cuts and a bitter struggle with pilots that resulted in a tentative contract agreement last week, the idea will likely rub employees the wrong way, said Daniel Petree, dean of the college of business at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach.

"It could be seen as adding insult to injury, asking for free labor," Petree said. "It may not tactically be a smart thing."

Employees at Tampa International Airport rolled their eyes when a supervisor told them about the program Monday.

Offer the employees free gruel and that should get them happily on the unpaid bandwagon

But Delta pilot Keith Rosenkranz hoped loyal customers would appreciate the extra efforts by employees and keep doing business with the airline.

"Spirits may be down, but people should applaud any employee willing to volunteer their free time to make the product their company offers better," wrote Rosenkranz of Grapevine, Texas, in an e-mail. But he doesn't plan to fly to a hub like Atlanta to participate.

So sad, willing spirit, weak flesh, etc, etc, etc.

I think I see a slight problem with Black's refusal to elaborate on his next comment

Meanwhile, Delta is working to win back customers, and part of that includes improving the appearance of its fleet. Employees are being urged to report unclean aircraft and other problems they see while traveling.

"We're committed to cleaning the aircraft more often and more thoroughly," said Black, who declined to characterize the condition of Delta's planes.

On second thought, why would anyone look askance at the condition of Delta's jets after Black pulls the Marcel Marceau silence bit?

And what do you know, the BRILLIANT Corporate overlords at Delta have even more bonus work for its employees besides the volunteer clean-up crew jobs

This isn't the first time Delta has requested employees to pitch in on their own time. The airline asks them to work as "Peach Corps" volunteers, assisting passengers at airports during holidays and other busy times, said Black.

Why, with such lofty working conditions, no doubt Delta's CEO & Board of Directors will be sharing with the mop & bucket brigade

Yes, nothing says happy, content employees more than unpaid time on the clock

Truly, our economy is firing on all cylinders as shown by the current Delta business plan