Memorable Times With My Mom

Well, it's Mother's Day, and I have to admit, I've been an interesting presence in her life, an opinion she no doubt agrees with

I remember images & snippets more than full out stories, but there hae been some memorable moments with us, no doubt

Like the time one Christmas season when we were going through a mall on a Saturday. At the mall providing music was a high school band, and as they were playing, I looked at my mom with mock disgust and asked

"Dear God, what is that they're TRYING to play?"

She looked at me like I was The Thing With Two Heads and replied, "They're Warming Up"

My mom also had to go through quite a bit of personal anguish when my bad health would kick in when I was a child, namely rushing me to a hospital emergency room when my asthma got really bad

It got to the point where she learned how to administer the adrenalin shot when I got hit with an asthma attack, and she always said it tore her up to hear me scream because of getting stuck with the needle

I also know how badly she felt when she moved away from El Paso to live with my sister, she felt like she was abandoning me because I'd always come by on sunday to do my laundry, and we always laughed & talked

But she had to move, it was the best job she's ever had, and I was NOT going to let her pass it up-I'm glad she didn't, and I think she is too

Besides, there's no way any child can out guilt-trip their own mom, not gonna happen

At the same time, she likes to give me a hard time in a way I'd miss if she stopped, such as reminding me-very melodramatically-about how I stabbed her in the heart when I failed my high school math class in my junior year

When we ran the tavern (I sympathize with WHATEVER the former/current bartenders here went through on that job, anyone who ever worked on the business side of a counter knows that the customer is NOT always right, very often the customer is WRONG) the difference in styles was obvious-I was always pretty easygoing, although I could be a real hardass if I had to real quick

Like when I'd have to cut people off-no matter how low-key or as quiet as possible when I tried to do it, the person almost always got indignant about being cut off

Whereas, everytime, I mean EVERY time I ever saw my mom cut someone off, that person ALWAYS apologized for putting my mom through such a trying ordeal

And I have to admit, my mom had no problem taking myself & my seven-years younger sister to an occasional R-Rated movie, namely "Blazing Saddles", "Animal House" & "The Jerk"

In fact, at one point in that Steve Martin movie "The Jerk", I was sitting a few rows behind Mom & Jen while the parents are reading the latest letter from Steve Martin, which goes along the lines of

"Don't worry about me, family, I should be able to start sending you all money as my girlfriend promised she'd give me a blowjob"

What made this hysterical is that I saw-silhoutted against the movie screen, my sister turn to my mom and, from the profile, I saw her ask

"What's a blowjob?"

I missed the next few minutes because I was cracking up too hard to pay attention

And yes, I will pull pranks on family if I get the chance, but since it's always so out of the blue, they usually never show enough skecpticism

Like on a vaction in 1984, myself, the parental units and sis went to LA

Mom & I went to a small mall in Hollywood and were checking out a very cool gift & music shop

It was there I heard my mom talk about how she'd like to see Rodeo Drive if she got the chance

And the plan just improvised itself from there

I told my mom that if she wanted to see Rodeo Drive, it would cost about $10. When she asked why, I told her it was because wealthy Arabs had actually purchased the street from the community, and put up pay gates at both ends and all incoming intersections

I told her to go ask the clerk she'd just been talking to about it, he'd back me up

About 5 minutes later she came back and saw me laughing hard, yet I still managed to ask-between the cackles-if she still wanted to pay to go on Rodeo Drive

She told me that the guy looked at her like SHE'D suddenly sprouted the same 2nd Head I had earlier and asked her where she'd heard such an obviously stupid suggestion

"My comedian son" she replied, but laughing while she did so

I get my spelling & love of reading from my mom, I get my attitude from my dad and my loyalty from my sister

I'm lucky enough to realize-and have-a GREAT relationship with my family, we all have our beliefs & differences, but we all come together when circumstances demand, and so, for Mother's Day, I have to say

I Love You Mom